And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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