Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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