he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
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There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
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Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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