When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize