My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize