I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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