on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
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Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
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Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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