I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize