I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize