tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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