If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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