just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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