I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize