I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize