Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I woke up under a house in Key West
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