i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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