I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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