I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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