Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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