tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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