kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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