it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
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Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
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My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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