so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you traded sex for a burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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