Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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