Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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