Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
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Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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