Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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