ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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