i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
