This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize