I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
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