btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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