last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i out mim tonsoeep
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