i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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