You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The Olympian is in my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
ok first of all what the fuck
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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