I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
only if we run a train.
done.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
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He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
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I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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