I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize