I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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