erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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