I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
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Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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