I don't usually arrange sex via text message
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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