definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
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Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
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The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize