I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
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I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
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No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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