So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
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I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
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She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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