Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize