WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize