Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
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Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
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The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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