Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
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Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
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His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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