i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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