It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize